Pee Times

I got to the drug test nice and early, and remembered that I had forgotten to drink a ton of fluids beforehand like I had meant to. Oh, well, I'm good at urination, if nothing else. So this young, hip, doctor-looking guy escorts me to the building's bathroom (no private stalls for these guys) and stands literally next to the stall while I'm in it. He helpfully turns on the faucet, but even that encouragement wasn't enough - I was a centimeter short. Crap! I gulp down some water at the fountain but too much fountain water makes you queasy. I wait a half hour, really bored, since there was absolutely nothing in the way of entertainment there. They had some Equal Rights Act required postings on their bulletin board, and that was it. Don't they foresee this?

So after a half hour I feel confident again. A different secretary (?!) takes me this time and it's pitiful. I was seriously embarrassed. The meniscus was not even close to the Minimum Amount line. Shamefully I asked to run to McDonalds and grab a pop, since that always does the trick. Permission was granted, even though they really weren't supposed to let me out of their sight. Perhaps I would smuggle pee back in the cup. Who knows.

I down the Sprite and refill it with the gross water, and finish that off soon. I refill it again, and am feeling kind of nauseous at this point. There is nothing to read, unless you count the Ronald McDonald FunFacts Activity page. Which I don't. I am feeling some urges around 11:45 but I am terrified to try again, worried that if I don't hit the mark I'll be stuck there all day. I hold it in until 12:15 and then hesitantly take a cup and follow first-hip-doctor-guy down the hall. Thankfully, he waited outside for me.

My cup overfloweth. Literally. I peed like crazy. It was like I extracted all the liquid from my body just to make sure that I had enough. I had superfluous amounts. I had to dump about half the cup out to get below the Maximum Amount line. It was, aha aha, relieving.

Enough about my bodily functions!

But seriously, that took up the better part of my day. I came home and napped. Oh, Spider Solitaire update, I am rocking that game. I have two suits mastered. I can only look tentatively at the four-suit option, still not brave enough.

The maintenance guy came today to fix my stuck blinds and wonky electrical outlets. Turns out both things were fixed in like, ten seconds and I was embarassed.