Deuce Bigalow: Elimated Gigolo

The cross-examination wasn't too bad today. I had to be kind of a hard-ass since the defense decided that anything they didn't want one of the witnesses to say was automatically able to be objected to. I just kept repeating the question and got the judge all up in a tizzy but I hope that the jury was able to see the point that I was trying to raise.

Oh well. If not, there's not many days left. There's still closing, which I am positively dreading. I hate public speaking with a passion. I don't even know why. It's not really that logical of a fear. I know all the people in my class - everyone on the jury is decent and no one else really listens. Perhaps it's an innate fear of sounding really, really dumb. But I answer questions all the time in class, risking dumbness. Maybe it's the prolonged exposure to the ridicule of the class. Who knows. At least I have a transparency to fall back on.

In Spanish we are learning the "if" clauses, and we have to repeatedly start questions with various forms of "if I did this, then x would happen." Like, if I were to eat a dozen eggs, then I would be sick. One of the questions today was "If you were able to choose a popular person, who would you eliminate?"

Wow! Great question! I wasn't sure if the question referred to notoriety or popularity, but I said "Si yo puedo eliminar una persona del moda, elimanaria Rob Schneider".

Sincerely. If I had the power, I would elimate him. God, what benefit has he ever bestowed on mankind? So far, he's given us the gems of The Animal, The Hot Chick, the upcoming Benchwarmers, and let's not forget the pinnacles of highbrow humor, Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo and European Gigolo. He has made me laugh less often.

By the way, The Benchwarmers is coming to our theatre today. I feel morally obligated to refuse to sell tickets to that film.