Candy

I received a brochure last year in the dorms promoting alcohol awareness and how to make Mock-Cocktails with mainly juice and seltzer. Did no one think that naming them "Mocktails" would be less cumbersome? Even "Mock-Cocks" would be better, but I think that may refer to something else.

Carl at work discovered that we have a Wet-Dry vac in the storage room, and he correctly assumed that it would be much more effective at removing the tiny bits on the floor than sweeping alone. Oh, how he was right! And it is also a thousand times more fun! There is so much popcorn everywhere and the vacuum just goes 'thwip!' and sucks it right up. I was slightly concerned because it is rather loud for a vacuum and there are movies playing ten feet away, but no one has complained yet. It's now my favorite part of cleaning. I can't believe no one ever used it before.

I am actually embarrassed when people buy the candy at work. Some kids get all excited since they see "Wonka Bar" and clamor to their parents nonstop until they sigh and say "and one Wonka Bar please". This bar is the size, literally, of a fun-size Hershey bar you get at Halloween. And we charge $2.50 for it. Good lord. I had a craving for Twizzlers so bad on Monday I was actually tempted to pay $2.80. However, I had Nathan grab me some at McLanahans, whose prices are inflated as it is but nothing compared to the movies. He brought back a one-pound bag for $1.50. 16 ounces - $1.50. 6 ounces - $2.80. Wow. Do the math. Or just imagine it in your head. The profit margin is staggering.

As an employee (albeit a bad one), I advise all patrons to sneak in anything they can. Tickets are pricey. Candy is insanity. However, I am pissed when people leave their contraband wrappers on the floor for me. Make an effort to hide it, yo.